Tuesday, April 8, 2014

I Could Have Done Better...

Hello All,

Today I'm going to write something somewhat deep and I'm sort of going to bare my soul to you guys. Before I start I want to give you guys a slight disclaimer, I am in no way trying to throw myself a pity party! So, if you don't want to read this post, I'd understand.

About 2 months ago I wrote this post. In this post I talked about how when I pictured college I pictured being in New York City. Well a few weeks later my friend, Tori came to visit me and we went and hung out at Yale and I memory came crashing back like a ton of bricks. 

Let me set the scene, I was in probably 8th grade or 9th grade and I had been binge watching Gilmore Girls, back before "binge watching" was a term used by Americans. One night I went to my favorite hometown resturant eating dinner with Mama J and one of her best friends. I look up from my yummy dinner and declared that when I went to college it would be at an Ivy League school.

Yet some how I ended up at state school down the road from my favorite Ivy League school. What in this wide world happened?

Source
I lost all my motivations. In all honesty I pretty much pushed this idea out of my head to gossip with friend, binge watch TV and  avoid studying at all cost!

Almost everyday I drive through an Ivy League school. The place where I work serves mainly those students and I am reminded of that little girl's dream. I am also reminded of Shawn's speech in Boy Meets World when they graduate high school. If you watch the clip below you'll understand. So, go ahead watch it...


Just like Shawn said I could have tried harder. I could have never missed an assignment and I could have really studied for quizzes and test instead of reading over the half assed notes I wrote in class. Seriously I should have done that because I still struggle at studying. I could have forced myself to pay attention to the classes even when I hated and wanted to space out and picture this said life. 

I could have been this girl. The girl who wore the Yale t-shirt because they went there instead of because they just wanted to have one.

Me in my Yale shirt because I wish I was a Yalie!
But at the same time if I had tried that hard I wouldn't be the person I am today. I would constantly in a state of stress. I would want to curl up in a ball and cry. I wouldn't have made the friends I have. Hell I might not have even started this blog. What kind of world would that be?

If weird how stupid dreams you have are never meant to come true. There was some naive girl who thought that Yale would be easy to get into. So, no I never applied, I don't even think it ever crossed my mind when I was a senior that I would want to go to an Ivy League school or to even get rejection letter for some fabulous school just because.

So, Yale wasn't in the cards for me but it could have been if the deck had been shuffled differently.

What was something you wanted when you little that you never got? Let me know in the comments below.

-P.S. - If you want to see one of the many reason I love Yale and have 15 minutes to kill then watch this awesome student made video!


6 comments:

  1. I can totally relate. I have so many regrets in high school, but then whenever I think about I think that there's a reason that I ended up at southern!
    Natalie @findingmyownvoice7.blogspot.com

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    1. I agree! Everything happens for a reason. Thanks for reading.
      xoxo,
      Emma.

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  2. I feel like we always play the "what if" game with ourselves and compare who we are with who we could have been, but that's so unfair to the person you are. You're amazing and you're going to do amazing things with or without a degree from Yale. It's a good dream, but you cannot hold it against yourself just because it didn't happen.

    -Chelsea
    chelsandthecity.blogspot.com

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    1. Awww..thank you so much! This comment just made my day! Thank you for reading!
      xoxo,
      Emma.

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  3. Thanks for sharing Emma. After years now of being in communities, and hence knowing thousands of young college hopefuls, and equal numbers of eager, stressed out mothers, (and, additionally in my case, athletes) there is one thing I have learned, it is that somehow most everyone lands exactly where they are supposed to be. It is a bit of a phenomenon how that miracle occurs. One mother sat in a car with me balling her eyes out over five years ago, and just last week when someone mentioned that school, it was nothing to her, because her son had literally landed in a better place, and he is all the more successful as well, just like you. Success is not measured by schools, its measured by mastering our talents and passions. Yale, yes, it certainly is a beautiful wonderful school, and perhaps my favorite among the Ivy Leagues, sport the tee shirt, and be true to you! Best of Luck.

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    1. I have start to truly feel like I landed in the right place but sometimes driving through Yale I have to remind myself of that over and over again.
      Thanks for reading,
      Emma.

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Thanks for stopping by! Comment always make my day!