Hello All,
I lucked out so much considering that my roommate is one of my best friends at college and I would not trade having her as my roommate for anyone else.
I figured I should start by giving you some background on our relationship. Hannah and I met each other via Facebook and became roommates. Right after we were assigned to be roommates we talked to each other via Facebook about interests, hobbies, favorites, etc... Over the summer between senior year and freshmen year I went and spend the summer with Grandma, I had my phone, which was a droid 2 so I had 3G but my Grandma didn't have WiFi and Hannah and I had only really communicated VIA Facebook so we didn't really talk over the summer. Although I wasn't so worried because I went into college/roommate situation with idea that I wanted a roommate who I could co-exist with and not have to be friends with them.
When Hannah and I first moved in we were friends although we weren't in the same group of friends. But because of some series of unfortunate events (not the child's book) Hannah and I became closer and then became friends with our really good friends Mandi and Heidi. It got to the point where I couldn't do homework in our room because I couldn't focus because I felt the need to talk to her and when we would come back school after being home we would talk as if we had been separated for months.
I am so grateful that Hannah is my roommate, we've talked about before and decide/realized that we want to stay roommates throughout college. And I truly believe that we will be friends for a long, long time to come.
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| Hannah (right) and I on move out day, we were sad to leave |
Because I have such a good relationship with my roommate, no its not perfect but its healthy and were both happy with our situation I figured I'd give you some tips that worked for us!
- Set Boundaries: When we first moved in we talked about things that we would be uncomfortable about. For example, I'm not a morning person, so don't talk to me first thing in the morning)
- Respect Each Other and Their Spaces: Hannah is very neat and needs her stuff to be put away before she can focus on work. I on the other hand function in organized ciaos. Which some people we would think is a recipe for disaster. But we talked about it and she told me, she doesn't care about what my side of the room looks like as long as it doesn't encourage on her side. Another thing when it comes to respect is I constantly need noise, I'm always watching something on my computer or listening to music so I always use headphones.
- Have Some Bonding Time: Even if you don't want to be best friends with you roommate you need to remember you have to live with this person so you should try and get to know one of another. Hannah and I are the queen of bonding. We've gone to events on campus, we've gone shopping, we've watched movies, etc... But are main bonding time is more of weekly thing. We both love watching MTV's Awkward and Girl Code and ABC Family's Switched at Birth. Whenever those shows are we watch them together. Another one of my favorite is we'll make dinner and eat in our room every once in while.
- Don't Go Into the Roommate Situation With Judgement: Don't think you already know them based off Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc... Also don't think that you and your roommate are either going to be Best Friend or not friends. Go with the flow, if you and your roommate realize you guys co-exist well and want nothing more then don't push it.
- Communication: If something is bother you tell them! If you don't like that they listen to their music loudly tell them. If you don't want them having their significant other in your room so often, tell them but be willing to compromise. But with communication comes debate and be ready for them to tell you things you won't like. The may tell you that they don't like that you blow dry your hair in the morning while their still sleeping. So be willing for feedback from your roommate and be ready to compromise with your roommate.
- Trust: Every relationship, whether its parent/child, siblings, friends, romantic, etc... need to have trust. But you especially need trust when it comes to living together. You won't always be in your room when your roommate is, so you need to trust that your roommate will respect your stuff and make sure that anyone who they bring in will respect your stuff. Also you need to trust that your roommate won't share the embarrassing stuff that you do in privacy of your own room (i.e. sleep talk, snore, etc...).
These are what worked for me and I hope that they help people who are either moving into a new roommate situation or about ready to have a roommate for the first time.
Another idea that I've read about is a roommate contract. Here's a website that shows you how to step up your own roommate contract.
I wish everyone who is starting college and moving in with a roommate luck and I hope you end up with a good one.
XOXO,
Em.
P.S. If you've lived a roommate and have advice let me know, you never know when that will come in handy. Also if you have questions/advice feel free to ask, I'm willing to help!
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