I don't know if I'm going to post this, so if you're reading this it might be that I need to share or I'll just delete it from my drafts and eventually delete it.
The past few week I have been beyond stressed and today it came to it boiling point. I had a slight breakdown today while talking on the phone to Mama J.
There are days that I'm not sure if I can do it. And by it I mean this whole college thing. I don't know if I will ever see the day that I walk across that stage and receive that diploma.
There are days I'm not sure its worth it. Is it really worth it to work my butt off 4 maybe even 5 years just to maybe work part time while trying to jungle bills, paying back my debt and all the other expensive that come with being a "grown up".
And then I'm afraid of failing. I'm afraid of working so hard to fail and having to re-evaluate my life and realize I made the wrong decision when I was 20 years old.
If I had all the money in the world I think that I would make it that every person had to take a year off from school and explore the world. I think we need time to find ourselves because I'm sitting in bed questioning my future and what exactly I want to do. And frankly if I can do it.
But I'll keep pushing along and hope that one day all this hard work will be worth it and I will be happy.
Thank for reading my rant and letting my blog be this place I let off some steam!